


if i'm being honest i really am clingy

by demonhunterknight



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Arguments, Clingy Reader, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Implied Smut, Insecurity, Kissing, Please Don't Hate Me, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sam is sad, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Vines, but he's drunk, dean is kinda a jerk at the start, insecure reader, reader tries to change herself, sam feels sorry for the reader, vine references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-12 15:59:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21479029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonhunterknight/pseuds/demonhunterknight
Summary: The reader and Dean head to a bar for the evening, the but the reader wants to go back halfway through the evening and texts Sam, he's happy to pick her up, and when she interrupts Dean and the girl he's with for the evening, the girl isn't happy with that.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Reader, Dean/reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 65





	if i'm being honest i really am clingy

Dean X Reader: Clingy.

You stared down at your knees, bumping them together occasionally as you sat on one of the chairs in the bunkers library, you weren’t reading, you just came here to find a safe place, a quiet place, where you could sit and think.

Think about what Dean had said to you earlier.

Earlier that day:

You took the bunker steps two at a time, Dean following behind you, and you could hear the angry huffs of breath that escaped his mouth. You tried your best to ignore him, and head to your room until he called out your name.

“Y/n, where the hell do you think you’re going?” He asked, and you turned, to see him frowning at you, you waved an arm behind your back, and pointed in the vague direction of my room.

“Uhm, my room?” You say, and he shakes his head, pointing at one of the chairs in the bunker.

“No, you’re going to tell me what the hell happened back there?” He asked, his jaw tight, watching you closely.

“What happened?” You ask, your mouth open and he nodded at you, waiting for a response.

What had happened?

Dean had invited you to the bar with him, and you had accepted his offer, hence you going to the bar, and ultimately being abandoned by him for another woman, you had sat in the booth, trying to keep your head low, and taking the occasional sip of your drink, as you watched your friend and the girl from afar, letting out a sigh, before glancing down at your hands.

Bars weren’t your favourite place, you didn’t hate them, no. You would just rather be back in the bunker than alone at a bar, it was different when Sam came too, he didn’t run off with some random chick every time, he’d sit with you and talk to you, make sure you were okay.

Sam was the only one who knew how you felt about Dean, hell you had spent enough time talking to him about it, and he hated seeing you watch his brother and some other woman flirt and kiss at the bar side, leaving you feeling miserable.

And yet you were on your own now. Doing just that.

_Maybe I’m being selfish. _You think to yourself, running a finger along the edge of your glass. _Dean can flirt with whoever he wants, it’s not like you guys are dating._

There had been the occasions where Dean would flirt with you, but you always joked back, throwing the occasional pick-up line, but deep down knowing that that’s all they were. Jokes.

You let out a sigh and sunk lower into your seat, watching as Dean’s hand rested on the woman’s waist, you watched her closely, taking in her auburn hair, model figure, and not to mention her legs. You sighed, glancing down at the shirt you’d stolen from Dean when you’d done the laundry that one time, and rubbed the edge of your nose, your eyes prickling slightly, you squeezed them shut, and took in a deep breath, before opening them again, looking back up at the two, and looking away when you see that they’re kissing, your chest aching, looking at the table closely, you sigh, trying your best not to cry, and pulling out your phone you send a text to Sam.

y/n: **can you come pick me up?**

Sam: **what’s wrong?**

y/n: **it’s nothing, I just don’t want to be here.**

Sam: **okay, I’ll be there in 15.**

y/n: **thanks**

You slide the phone back into your pocket, 15 minutes that’s all you had to wait for, you better tell Dean though. You sighed, you’d tell him before you leave, _he looks pretty busy anyway _you mutter under your breath, and sigh.

10 minutes later and you get a text from Sam.

Sam: **just parked**

Y/n: **okay, gimme a sec.**

Sam: **okay.**

You stood up, brushing down your shirt, and pocketing your phone, you headed over to where Dean and the girl were currently making out, you stood behind him awkwardly, before tapping him on the shoulder, he pulled away from the girl and turned around, raising an eyebrow at you, the girl glared, and spoke before Dean or you could.

“Sorry, can’t you see we’re busy?” She asks, raising a brow, and placing a hand on your hip. You nodded slightly, and bit your lip, not responding before talking to Dean.

“Sam’s taking me back to the bunker” You say, and he frowns at you. The girl rolling her eyes, he opens his mouth to speak but she again interrupts.

“Why would he care?” She asks, laughing slightly. “Who is he, your dad?” She laughs, and you frown at her.

“No, he’s my friend” You state, your face flushing in embarrassment, the girl looks you up and down and then back at Dean.

“You? You’re friends with him?” She says, pointing towards Dean, who still hasn’t said anything yet, watching the two of you with a somewhat amused look.

“Yes” You say, a bit quietly now, tugging at the hem of your sleeve, before patting Dean’s hand.

“I’ll see you back at the bunker” You say, and he nods, smiling at you gently, and the girl watches this interaction.

“God, you’re so clingy? Do you really have to touch him like that?” She asks, and you freeze, looking at her, and by the look on her face she can tell she’s hit a nerve. You glance down at the hand that’s on Dean’s arm and pull it away softly, you look away and speak.

“Well, I’ll see you” You say, quietly, barely heard amongst the noise in the bar, and you walk away from the two, hearing the girl laugh and then kiss Dean again, you head out of the bar, the wave of cold air form the outside hitting your face in relief.

You glance around, and see Sam standing by one of the cars that is kept in the bunkers garage, and he smiles at you, raising an arm, and you smile back, heading over. He looks down at you and smiles, coming forward to hug you, like the two of you normally do when you see each other, but you head to the other side of the car, opening the passenger door and climbing inside, he stops and watches the spot that you were before getting in the driver’s side and shutting the door, looking at you with a sad face.

“Tell me what’s wrong” He says, and you shake your head, looking away from him, tears brimming in the corners of your eyes, you rubbed at the harshly, and his face fell, He reached out a hand and placed it on your shoulder, but you brush it off, moving further away from him pressing up against the window, he sighs and pulls out his phone looking at you before typing and then pressing send, before starting the car engine.

\---

Dean glanced down at his jeans as he heard his phone vibrate against his leg, he quickly pulled it out to see a text from his brother, he frowned before swiping across and reading it, his eyes furrowing as he read, before pushing it back into his pocket he looks towards the bathroom, where the girl he was talking to just went to, and stands, pushing a few notes to the bartender, and leaving the bar.

Sam: **Dean, why is y/n crying?**

\---

Sam parked the car and opened the drivers door, before climbing out and shutting it again, you sighed, opening the car door and swinging your legs over the side, standing and moving away so you could shut the door, when you saw another pair of car headlights pull up, you squinted and then frowned when you saw it was the impala.

_Was he bringing her back to the bunker?_

_No,_ he wouldn’t do that, would he? He hadn’t before, so there wasn’t any reason to believe he would now, unless…

“Damnit Sam” You say, glaring at the brother and he shrugs, smiling apologetically before heading into the bunker, you make after him but hear Dean call out your name.

“Y/n! Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” He asks, walking towards you, but you ignore him and enter the bunker, heading towards the steps, taking them two at a time. , Dean following behind you, and you could hear the angry huffs of breath that escaped his mouth. You tried your best to ignore him, and head to your room until he called out your name.

“Y/n, where the hell do you think you’re going?” He asked, and you turned, to see him frowning at you, you waved an arm behind your back, and pointed in the vague direction of my room.

“Uhm, my room?” You say, and he shakes his head, pointing at one of the chairs in the bunker.

“No, you’re going to tell me what the hell happened back there?” He asked, his jaw tight, watching you closely.

“What happened?” You ask, your mouth open and he nodded at you, waiting for a response. You looked back down at your shoes, before telling him the truth.

“I didn’t like her” You say, stubbornly, and Dean frowns.

“What, the chick?” He asks, and you nod your head. He shakes his and lets out a sigh.

“God, I thought you were actually upset” He says, and you looked up at him, _you were upset. _“God you’re so clingy” He mutters, and you hold your breath, looking down at the floor.

“I was upset” You mumbled, tripping over your words, and he sighs.

“Yeah, well, now I miss out on a perfectly good night with a hot chick” He says, and you can tell he’s slightly drunk.

“Well, I’m sorry that I’m so clingy” You say quietly, and he frowns.

“Well if you’re being honest then why don’t you list the other things that are wrong about you as well?” He mumbles, and you stop, looking up at him.

“You think there’s other things wrong with me?” You ask, eyes wide, staring at the man in front of you.

“Trust me, there’s a list” He says, before turning around and walking back up the steps, leaving you with those words echoing around your head.

Now:

You sighed, pulling your legs up, so that your feet are curled around the edge of the seat, you stare at the bookshelf, thinking to yourself.

_He’s right you know, you really are clingy, think about it, you always touch him, always have to hug him, what if he hates that, what if he just finds it annoying? I mean, he normally seems fine with it, but what if he doesn’t._

You’re crying now, and they come out in shaky sobs, you rub your eyes with the palms of your hand, and rub your nose, wiping away the tears that are streaking your cheeks. You stand, and walk towards you bedroom, pulling out a pen and paper. Before starting to write the list of things that needed to change.

  1. The amount of times you hug Sam and Dean.

You figured that you could do that one first, it was easy, you normally hugged Sam every time you saw him, but now, you only had to do it if he forced you, you didn’t _need _to hug him. And as for Dean, well, you could just avoid any situation where a hug would be needed.

  1. Don’t ask to sleep with them at night.

Occasionally, when you had a nightmare, or just couldn’t sleep, you’d make your way to one of their rooms, crawl into their bed and tuck yourself beside them, but now if you’d wake up, or couldn’t sleep, you’d just have to find a book, or a YouTube video to watch instead.

  1. Stop talking about things they don’t care about.

Most of the time you’d start random conversations with the boys about the latest show you’d been watching, or what film was coming out, and just talk about it for ages, you figured they probably got bored of that, so from now on you’d talk about things they like, or wait for them to start a conversation.

  1. Stop touching them.

Whether it was a pat on the shoulder, or grabbing their shirt, which you did a lot, just don’t, resist the urge to grab Dean’s sleeve when you ended up in a situation you didn’t like, or when you got nervous.

  1. Don’t force them to listen to your music.

You listened to a wide range of music, and most of the time you’d play it out loud in the bunker, on your speaker, causing Dean to groan and insult your music choices. So now when you wanted to listen to it you’d use your headphone.

  1. Stop showing them dumb images.

If you found a funny image on the internet or just a cute picture of a dog, you’d have to show Sam, he normally smiled and then went straight back to whatever he was doing, you guessed that was because he was bored of it, so now you’d just not show them.

  1. Don’t rant to Dean.

You’d leave him alone.

  1. Don’t rant to Sam either.

Keep it to yourself.

You sighed, placing it by the side of your bed, you’d add more later, and eventually there’d nothing left for Dean to hate about you.

You crawled under your blanket and rested your head on your pillow, closing your eyes and attempting to get some sleep.

You opened your eyes, raising a hand to rub the sleep out of your eyes, you sighed and rolled over, glancing at the clock on your dressing table, you frowned. **2:16 am **the red light shone at you angrily, accusing you of being awake at such an ungodly time, you sighed and swung your legs out of bed, to Sam’s room then, you thought and then you stopped, just before your bare feet touched the cold floor, and you pulled your legs back into bed.

You couldn’t go there anymore.

You sighed before getting out of bed anyway, grabbing your blanket as you did and idly walked towards one of the rooms in the bunker, before throwing yourself down on the couch and pulling the blanket around you, using the remote to switch on the TV, before burying your head into the warm blanket and watching whatever show was playing at that time.

In the morning Sam found you on the couch, he frowned as he saw your sleeping form, and then picked up the remote switching off the TV that was now playing some black and white cowboy film, he ran his hands through his hair, and shook you gently, causing you to let out a groan and sit up, rubbing your eyes and looking at Sam.

“huh?” You asked, and he smiled.

“Couldn’t sleep?” He asks, and you shrugged, he smiled at you sadly.

“You could of come to my room” He says, placing a hand on your shoulder, you shrugged again before standing up, trying to move his hand away from you in the most unsuspicious way.

“I didn’t want to wake you” You say, before heading towards the kitchen, leaving Sam to stare after you, his brow furrowed in concern.

Over the next few days, both brothers noticed a change in your behaviour. You no longer played music, instead opted to wear headphones, you hadn’t shown Sam any dumb vines or memes you’d found, let alone dog pictures, and you’d been avoiding both of their touches like they had the plague, and as they both sat at one of the tables in the bunker Sam asked Dean about it.

“Have you said something to Y/n?” He asks, and Dean looks up at him, confused.

“What?” He says, with a mouthful of toast, and Sam frowns.

“Y/n, she’s being acting weird lately, have you said something to her?” He asks, and Dean shakes his head.

“No, have you?” He asks, and Sam shakes his head, neither of them continuing the conversation.

You and Sam had left the bunker, Sam had dragged you to the store so they could stock up on supplies for the bunker, and Dean had stayed, but he was now using this time as a mission, as soon as he’d heard the bunker door shut he’d headed towards your room, opening the door and stepping inside.

He’d been in your room before, not many times, but enough to know where you kept things, and he headed over to your dresser, pulling open the top drawer and pulling up the bottom that was halfway up the drawer, hiding a second compartment underneath, he pushed past your journal, he’d already looked through it before thinking it was a diary but ended up disappointed when it was just a hunting journal, and he shifted the sketchbook that he knew had drawings of him, Sam and Cas inside, before he reached a small notepad, he frowned, pulling it out and looking at it, he hadn’t seen this before, he opened it and flicked through until he reached a list, he read it and his eyes widened. The title read:

**Things that Dean probably hates about you.**

He read through the list, reading through all of the things that you thought he hated about you, from the freckles on your nose to the way you grabbed his sleeve, and to the way you cleaned the impala every week.

He frowned, these weren’t things he hated about you.

Those were the things he loved about you.

He kept flicking through, tears falling down his face by the time he found the list of how you could improve.

And then the door opened.

He turned his head to see you staring at him, looking down at the notepad that was in his hands.

“What are you doing?” She asks, her voice small, hesitantly looking at him, and he stands up, walking towards her, the notepad forgotten on her bed. And he pulls her into his arms. He feels her tense, and awkwardly wrap he arms around him.

“Dean?” She asks, and he presses a kiss to her forehead.

“God sweetheart, you are so wrong, so, so wrong, I could never hate those things, God they’re why I love you” He says, and you look up at him with wide eyes.

“What?” You ask. “But you said..” You trail off and he frowns.

“I what?” He asks, and you look away.

“You said, there’s a… that there’s a list, of things… things that are wrong with me” You mutter, tears pooling at the corner of your eyes, and he almost stops breathing.

“Oh God sweetheart, I didn’t mean that, princess” He says, pressing another kiss to your forehead.

“I’m so sorry” He mumbles, and you look up at him.

“So, you don’t have a list?” You ask, and he shakes his head.

“I could never hate anything about you, those things, those things that you listed, those are all the things I adore about you, every single thing, I don’t care that you rant all the time, and Sam loves the pictures of puppies you show him, hell, he even has a folder on his laptop with them so that he can show them to you, and he watches vines at night just so he can understand when you come out with something weird like eat your chicken strips” He says and you mutter under your breath.

“What was that?” He asks, and you said it lower chuckling slightly.

“It’s fuck yo chicken strips” You say, and he smiles.

“See” He says, hugging you again. “And I swear to god if you try to stop hugging me I will hurt you” He threatens and you smile.

“You wouldn’t do that” You say, and he raises a brow at you.

“And why’s that?” He asks, and you smile softly.

“Cause you love me” You say, and he stares at you, smiling before running a hand under your chin and pulling you closer.

“I guess you’re right” He says, closing the gap between the two of you, pressing his lips to yours, and running his hand down you back, bringing you closer so that you hand is resting on his chest, almost crushed between both of your bodies, his lips are soft, softer than you imagined, and you can feel the beginnings of stubble brush against you chin, prickling against your skin, as the kiss became deeper, he pushed you down onto the edge of the bed, crawling on top of you still kissing you, you tugged at the edge of his shirt and he happily pulled it over his head, throwing it into some corner of your bed, he began to unbutton your shirt, and you wrapped you arms around his back, feeling his shoulder blades move, he kept kissing you, pulling you closer to him as he moved above you, before finally breaking the kiss.

“Let me show you just how much I love you”

**Author's Note:**

> this ended up being longer than i expected, but after the day i had i felt like i need to write this and get it out there, i hope you enjoy it and feedback is always appreciated, if you have any requests feel free to leave them in the comments.


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